I went walking last night. There is a cow pasture next to the track where I walk, and it reminded me of something I read recently. It was a writer’s very unique perspective of a well known Bible verse: Psalms 23:2: He maketh me to lie down in green pastures… Her perspective: God gives all of us green pastures, but we do not always recognize them as green pastures.
It was someone’s opinion. That’s all. And whether I agree with her or not, I’m not sure, but it did give me something to think about. So, here are my thoughts: Maybe we DO recognize our green pastures, but refuse to lie down in them. Why? We stand with our weight on one foot, taping the other one, gazing around at other pastures. They look bigger and greener. No, we will not lie down in our pasture, we will wait until our grass is greener or just as green as the one on the other side of the fence. Or, maybe we are not comparing ours to others at all, just discontent with it’s appearance, so we will wait until it looks as good as we think it should, and then and only then will we lie down in it.
Just thinking out loud!
Just thinking out loud!
This past weekend, my husband spent some time with his brothers. The visit included watching one brother play with his grand baby while anticipating the birth of a second one, as well as, listening to another brother as he talked of his daughter’s upcoming graduation and receiving her doctorate degree. He came home feeling a little down and with questions. Not new ones. Not ones that I have not already asked myself. I shared with him some of the thoughts and feelings I have had over the years as I attended all the baby showers, wedding showers, the weddings, and the graduation ceremonies.
I hope you will not think of me as a selfish person or full of self pity because I truly felt a sense of pride and joy for the families involved, but at the same time the events triggered questions and a sadness that allowed me to fully understand what my husband was feeling.
It was during these times that my pasture did not look very green, and I certainly did not want to lie down in it, knowing this was exactly what Satan had set out to do. When I allowed my mind to wonder into a comparison mode, it left room to doubt.
Why, God? Why am I where I am at this very moment with my children when I did everything I was suppose to do? You promised me that if I raised them in the nurture and admonition of you they would not depart from you. But they have. I see families who did not, from all appearances, allow you to be the center of their lives and yet all seems to be well with them. Why?
Why, God? Why am I where I am at this very moment with my children when I did everything I was suppose to do? You promised me that if I raised them in the nurture and admonition of you they would not depart from you. But they have. I see families who did not, from all appearances, allow you to be the center of their lives and yet all seems to be well with them. Why?
Knowing fully that with the belt of truth to shield me from Satan‘s lies; the breastplate of righteousness to protect my heart; my feet shod with preparation to give me the motivation to move forward and to share what you are doing in my life with others; the shield of faith so as to not become consumed with setbacks knowing that even though I cannot see beyond my present circumstance, God, you can; and then finally the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit to protect my mind when the doubts come… I can lie down… in my green pasture.
Yet, God, at times, I still struggle. I look around me and see the other pastures. They look quite lush and green, the way I want mine to look. I stand. I tap my foot. And I wait… for greener pasture.
I pray right now that I will not measure my success as a parent by the choices my children have made although others may be doing this very thing. And while they may compare my children’s lives with their children’s and then use this to justify not having a relationship with you, I do not want to be caught up in this lie as well. I do not want to doubt you. Having a relationship with you does not mean a life without struggles. It means that I can draw closer to you while going through them and then hopefully become a stronger and better person because of them. It means that I have been given an opportunity to show you and what you can do to others. When I look around and “all seems to be well with the world”, help me to understand that while all may be well with the world, all may not be well with the soul. Thank you for my green pasture. I know you are not finished with it. There is much plowing and cultivating still to be done. I will look forward to a fully matured pasture. I will anticipate the story I will be able to tell one day of how it came to be. In the meantime, I will lie down. I will be still and know. I will look up and I will believe.
I pray right now that I will not measure my success as a parent by the choices my children have made although others may be doing this very thing. And while they may compare my children’s lives with their children’s and then use this to justify not having a relationship with you, I do not want to be caught up in this lie as well. I do not want to doubt you. Having a relationship with you does not mean a life without struggles. It means that I can draw closer to you while going through them and then hopefully become a stronger and better person because of them. It means that I have been given an opportunity to show you and what you can do to others. When I look around and “all seems to be well with the world”, help me to understand that while all may be well with the world, all may not be well with the soul. Thank you for my green pasture. I know you are not finished with it. There is much plowing and cultivating still to be done. I will look forward to a fully matured pasture. I will anticipate the story I will be able to tell one day of how it came to be. In the meantime, I will lie down. I will be still and know. I will look up and I will believe.
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