Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Conversation WORTHY Of Being Repeated

On Saturday, literally just moments before my daughter's nasty stomach virus reared its ugly head; she was excited to tell me something. Keep in mind that we were in the car; I was driving in the New Orleans/Metairie area in the rain, so I could not exactly give her my undivided attention. But, as soon as her mouth closed from sharing her news, mine flew open, and for some strange reason WORTHY was the word that flew out of it. I do not believe I have used this word in a conversation in my entire life, ever!


All I can say is that her news involved a renewed relationship with someone in her past. My heart sank as hers soared with excitement, confident that I would be thrilled beyond words. I was anything but thrilled, unsettled would better describe how I felt. I cautiously reminded her that she had long since shared with me the corruptness of this relationship. (A few years ago, there were so many others things in her life that had surfaced and left me spent, that this was just one more thing to throw on the heap.) I truly believe by the look on her face that either she had completely forgotten about telling me or maybe she thought I would not remember.

My daughter has caused a tremendous amount of heartache and grief in my life over some of the decisions she has made in hers.  Because I love her so very much and want only the best for her, I have spent many sleepless nights wondering why she doesn't want this too. I am not talking about decisions that were bad based on my opinion alone. I am talking about decisions that have corrupted her testimony, her relationship with family, and more importantly with God. I am talking about decisions that have had negative consequences on a physical level. Why can't she see this? She is such a smart and level headed young lady!

I know this precious baby girl of mine thinks she can do nothing right in the eyes of her mom. Too many times I have been the voice of her conscience, trying to talk her into something or out of something. I was determined this time; however, to not make her feel like she had once again made a mistake.

Worthy: This was the only word that came to my mind. Do I think it was coincidental? No.

I told her that she was precious and worthy of being treated with respect by others. I reminded her to always think of herself as worthy and not to settle for anything less. I encouraged her to respect herself enough to flee from corrupt relationships.

End of conversation.  Short and (bitter) sweet!

Ephesians 4:1 says: I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called.

Paul was imprisoned as a result of his faithfulness and obedience to the Lord; however, he considered himself a prisoner of the Lord and here in Ephesians urges his readers to walk, or to conduct themselves in a fashion that is consistent with a Christian's dignified position as a member of the Body of Christ. In other words: In every aspect of our lives we need to demonstrate a Christ-like spirit.

My prayer is that she understood that her mom desires only the best for her, as does her Savior and this should be her desire too: to want the very best in every aspect of her life.

To walk WORTHY!

Sunday, January 17, 2010


HER DOG? No, my daughter arrived here in Metairie shortly before noon yesterday WITHOUT her golden retriever. She usually brings him with her and we have never told her she could not or that we did not want her to. As a matter of fact, he is kind of like one of the family and we love him and like to spend time with him too. This time, however, I was secretly hoping she would not bring him, only because the weather was terrible and because I knew we were going to be busy as we tried to cram a lot into two short days.

Did she bring A GIFT? Not exactly.

In less than thirty minutes after she stepped into the house, we both took off to start our shopping frenzy. Our first stop was Marshalls. After that we combed TJ Maxx. As we left this particular shopping center to drive to another one, she began to complain about being extremely tired. We were close enough to the house that I told her we could go back so she could take a nap and rest for a while. She told me that she was also feeling a little queasy and maybe if she got something to eat she would feel better. We went to Zea’s Restaurant where she ordered an appetizer and a drink and I ordered dessert and coffee. She ate almost all of her food and we had the rest boxed to take back to her dad. We made it home just in the nick of time! She became very, very ill.

That‘s right. All the way from Hattiesburg, MS she brought with her a STOMACH VIRUS that has been running rampant in our little neck of the woods.

The weather was rainy and gloomy but with parking garages, umbrellas, and indoor malls who cared? This was not going to stop us. But, stop we did! Right in our own tracks! No more shoes to try on, purses to drool over, or bargains to look for. The only thing left in our day was for me to watch the Saints game on tv with my husband and Pepto Bismol and vomiting for her!

I know we are not suppose to question why things like this happen, although it doesn’t stop me from trying to speculate. So here is my speculation:

My daughter and I are alike in so many ways: in personality and in appearance. But, in as many ways that we are alike, we are so very different. One being the way we deal with pain and sickness. Not that I am superwoman, but she does not do good when she is sick. Period. On a pain tolerance scale of 0 to 10, she MAY be at 1. This still does not give me justification for my lack of patience with her in the past during some of the times she got sick. I even told her one time that after she got married and got pregnant to call me after she had the baby and not before. OUCH! Huge, huge mistake on my part!!

In earlier entries, I confessed about mistakes I had made when it came to my daughter’s and my relationship. There are things I wish I could go back and do differently. (I feel pretty safe in saying that this is probably the way many parents feel.) And this weekend gave me the opportunity to sort of do that.  I sat with her, waited on her, cleaned up after her, showing her how much I loved her all the while she groaned and complained. Did I mention that she groaned and complained? Yes, I am going to accept that this weekend was not meant to be about shopping and eating together as I had planned, but about an opportunity for me to get to do something over.

So, what did she bring with her? She will probably never know what she brought that helped to soothe this mother’s soul!

Beth Moore had the following verse posted on her blog. I read it last night and it could not have spoken any louder or clearer to me. Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7

Everything happens for a reason!

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Thursday was the first day of a long weekend for me in Metairie. After my husband dropped me off and left for work, I began my ritual of sorting through and unpacking all my “stuff”. I always wait until the morning we leave to throw this “stuff” together. I literally grab as many things as I possibly can in the way of clothes, food, toiletries, medication, books, computer, and everything else I think I may need while I am here. Being this unorganized and spontaneous is NOT my usual, but I have learned after almost three years that it’s easier for me to do it this way. Otherwise, I would spend way too much time during my days at home planning and packing. I have also learned what is essential for me to bring and what is not, allowing me to be able to pack in a hurry.

As I began to sort through everything on Thursday, I seized the opportunity to do some of the highly “unusual” (things I never have time to do, not to mention, never even think about doing when I am at home). Here is what my morning was like:

- Washed (with soap and water) my hairbrush
- Cleaned out my purse (I spilled coffee inside of it on Monday
morning on my way to work and had not had time to clean
it out)
- Refilled my pill box
- Cleaned out my makeup bag (wiped it out, as well as, cleaned
each makeup container)
- Made a list of things I need to do and buy while I am here, as
well as, some things I need to do next week


- Organized the pantry and the dresser drawers
- Polished a pair of shoes
- Washed thoroughly my contact lens case
- Ironed, and hung the clothes I will need for
the entire weekend
- Planned menus

CRAZY? Some might possibly think so! But, you have yet to hear the WILD!

Did I do all of this out of sheer boredom? Some, but not all of it! It was mainly because when Saturday comes, I want to be ready! Ready for the arrival of my daughter. Ready for some mother/daughter time while my husband watches the ballgame, ready to go to our favorite restaurant, to find the best King Cake in New Orleans, to spend a gift card, to buy a birthday and baby gift, to have some girl talk, to go to Ben and Jerry’s, and to do so much other fun stuff with her. I am WILD about doing these things, but more importantly I am WILD about her!

Every chance I can get to spend with her is an opportunity for me to have an impact in her life, even if it is in a small way, hopefully it is in a positive way. I am beginning to see God work on her, and this makes me CRAZY with excitement and WILD with anticipation as I watch Him work a miracle in and through her.

I will and have already begun to pray about our time together this weekend, along with so many other things that are weighing heavy on my heart right now. The people of Haiti being one.

I realize as I type even now that my mundane chores, like ironing and cleaning do not really matter. And even my pressing issues such as the problems with K cannot begin to compare with what these people are facing right now. This is an opportunity for literally thousands of people to seek and find God. I pray that this is exactly what will happen. Through the rubble, the devastation, and the grieving, they will seek Him. I cannot begin to imagine what they are going through, but I do know what it is like to travel a dark tunnel with days of fearing that you will never find your way out. God, help the residents of Haiti. As they walk through their dark tunnel, I pray they will allow You to be the light at the end of it. Thank you for being my hope during the dark days. From the world’s viewpoint, I may not be WILD and CRAZY, but WILD and CRAZY for You is what I want to be!

Sunday, January 10, 2010


This weekend proved to be one that I felt the need to be on my knees.  It also made me realize that on my knees is where I need to be every single day that God puts breath in my lungs: Praying for my children: Praying for their protection as they walk through this maze they call LIFE: Dodging Satan and his Entities as they go.  They do not even realize they live in a virtual video game! They are so vulnerable and He knows this!

My daughter's life choices are beginning to weigh heavy on her heart and in her mind.  I believe that on a day-to-day basis she somehow pushes her circumstances in a corner and plunges on with her life.  However, when she is physically sick and weak, as she was Friday and Saturday, it is as if she FEELS them!  The pain is unbearable for her.  Part of me hates this for her and part of me is thankful because when her heart is exposed I get a glimpse inside. I love the conviction that I see, but the mother part of me hates the pain that her child is having to endure. 

We had a conversation this weekend that sent me straight to my closet (literally) and on my knees!

This is where I purpose to spend a lot of time hoping and praying (mostly praying) that this will be the year that she will take God's hand and begin to trust Him to pull her out of the mess she is in, that she will allow Him to lead and guide her into her future.  She has goals for a career that she is excited about pursuing.  I pray that she will trust Him with these goals, that He will bind the hand and feet of all those who would want to see her fail, and that she can once again live a life that she is not ashamed of, most importantly one that would please and honor Him.    

Friday, January 8, 2010


I was reminded of this story recently:  A family from our church went out to eat at Cracker Barrel.  After leaving the restaurant and getting into their car, they discovered that their little girl (she was approx. three years old at the time) had “taken” a package of candy corn (without them knowing about it or paying for it!)  She was made to take the candy back in and say she was sorry to the cashier. The parents explained to her during the ride home as to why taking something without permission or without paying for it was wrong, why she was not allowed to do so, and why Jesus did not like it. At bedtime that evening, her mother wanted to get one last “instruction” in, just to make sure she got it.  She asked her daughter, “G, do you remember what we talked about today?” Her daughter responded by saying, “Yes Mama!  I know!  Jesus doesn’t like candy corn!”

I want to believe that Jesus had to smile when he heard how this little one had interpreted this lesson learned from her act of disobedience. 

I honestly do not know if Jesus likes candy corn or not.  The Bible just does not say!  But it DOES tell me that He does not like many things: violence; pride; haughtiness; lying; murdering; plotting evil; eagerness to do wrong; a false witness; sowing discord or troublemaking; promise breaking; gifts of the wicked; deeds of the wicked; and thoughts of the wicked…  

I did not make a list of resolutions for 2010.  I usually buckle under the pressure of having an actual list in front of me of  things I am suppose to accomplish within a restricted amount of time.  What I do want to focus on in 2010 is to remove the things in my life that I know God does not like, replacing them with all things good that will bring Him honor, feeling certain that this list will not have to include one of my favorite treats: candy corn!!