Tuesday, May 11, 2010

OBSERVING

I observe things.  I have always been able to see and hear the tiniest of details, ones that maybe no one else can.  Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it is not. 

This past Saturday, the day before Mother's Day, I made a discovery.  I was not shocked or angry, but rather sad and disappointed.  It was confirmation to something already suspected.  My husband and I discussed when and how to handle the situation.  He decided it would be best to allow some time to pass and he would take the responsibility of revealing the discovery.   

(I hate it when someone posts just enough information on facebook to leave everyone guessing.  I have always thought they should share all or nothing.  And now here I am doing the same thing on my blog.)

I am sorry that I have to be vague about my "discovery", but I had to mention it because it is one of the reasons for this:

MY WEEKEND OBSERVATIONS:

1. I OBSERVED GOD'S SIGNATURE ON AN E-MAIL

After my "discovery" on Saturday, I had some errands to run. While busying myself in town and dealing with discouragement, I received this e-mail:   "Hi Lynn. Just wanted to tell you I think you are a terrific mom, and I have always looked up to you in so many ways, but especially as a mother. I love you... Happy Mothers Day!!!"

It was from a friend who lost her toddler son several years ago in an extremely  tragic accident.

I responded: Oh, ______! Possibly...in years to come...I will be able to share with you what your words meant to me on this very day. I am always awestruck when I see God do something and today He did. Thank you for being his mouthpiece. As a mother, you have walked where many of us have not and I so admire your strength and courage. I love you,too. Happy Mothers Day.

2. I OBSERVED GOD USE A BLUNDER I MADE

On the way to church Sunday, we were listening to a Casting Crown's CD.  My husband commented on the words to the song that was playing, questioning their meaning.  I pulled the cover out of the plastic case and started reading the introduction. It was not until later that I realized I had read the wrong intro.  The one I read was for the song, "Stained Glass Masquerade".  I do not have the cover available to document the intro word for word, but it talked of hypocrites, somebody who pretends to have admirable principles, beliefs, or feelings, but behave otherwise. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

It was not by accident that I read these words.  Hopefully, they planted a seed in a heart that needs to understand truth.  They put a situation into perspective and possibly gave my husband the spring board he will use when he is faced with the confrontation to reveal my "discovery".   

3. I OBSERVED MY DAUGHTER

Through the unanswered phone calls, unanswered text messages, and unreturned calls over the past couple of weeks, I have sensed her pulling away, AGAIN.  She spent the afternoon at my house on Sunday.  I felt her presence in  body only.  All I can do is continue to watch, wait, and pray.  Mostly pray.

Dear God,  I want my children be OBSERVERS.  Help them to DISTINGUISH the truth from Satan's lies.   Show them the importance of IDENTIFYING with you and not with this world, as well as, the importance of ACCEPTING the responsibilities that come with being children of the King, REALIZING there will be consequences for their actions.  If you choose to reveal your plan to us in the future, the reason for this journey and the trials we have faced on it, please allow this family to be AWARE of how you used it to change us.  Protect my children in the present and help them in the future to UNDERSTAND.  Allow them to be willing to share their experiences so that others may KNOW you.  AMEN

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