SORTING (SORT OF)

I want to use this entry to sort out something that I am struggling with. I hope to get it out of my head and onto these pages, pray over it, and allow God to make it clear to me as to which direction I need to take.

Up to this point, I have not revealed the path that my daughter has chosen for her life, and I NEVER intended to do so. Now I am struggling as to whether or not I should. Why? Is it something I think I need to do, but God does not, or is it something that God is trying to lead me into and I am fighting against? I do not know.

Why did I chose not to reveal this information in the first place?

1. This is for and about me, my struggles and not hers, my journey and not hers.
2. There are family members that do not know everything, elderly parents who could not cope. The fear of them seeing this blog (although it is highly unlikely) grips me.
3. My dream is that one day her children, my grandchildren, will have the opportunity to read what I have written. They will ask their mother what this is all about, and she can simply say, “It’s about a mother’s love!” and they will never have to know anything else.

Why do I think I need to, now?

1. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to reach out to other mother’s who may be on the same journey with their daughters (or even sons). Can I do this without them knowing what exactly it is that she struggles with?
2. Over a year ago I read the testimony of a young girl who was where my daughter is right now. She has a beautiful story of how God rescued her and she shares it with others. I carried her article in my Bible for months. It became my symbol of hope. And then God surprised me with an opportunity to meet her. My husband and I attended a conference in Clinton, MS last year and she was there. We did not know that she was going to be one of the speakers. She was listed on the itinerary that we received as one of the speakers for the Pastor and Youth Minister conference held on the Friday before we went on Saturday. She was not listed to speak on Saturday. I have contacted her via e-mail and she has offered to share my blog within the community that she ministers to. Is it fair that I have asked her to do this while not disclosing the information in question?

And just as I knew He would, God gave me the answer before I could even finish typing the last paragraph:

Lynn, what are the most important reasons you have for writing? Have you not already said it is to:

1. Glorify Me - I already know the nature of the sin, you do not have to publicize it to share Me with others.

2. Help others - You can help mothers who are struggling with all prodigal children. Allow your daughter to share her own story one day. She can help others with hers. You can help them with yours.

3. Benefit yourself - You ARE benefiting.

4. Leave her a legacy - Allow this to be something that she will be proud of one day, and not ashamed to show her children or anyone else. I have erased her sin and it doesn’t need to be spelled out as a reminder. Your love is all she needs to be reminded of.


I SHALL move on!