BOY vs. GIRL

One day last week as I drove to work I heard a debate of sorts on an American Family Radio station. “Are boys easier to raise than girls?” It caught my attention because I could relate since I have both. One person stated that boys were easier because when you have a boy you only have to worry about one boy, but when you have a girl you have to worry about ALL the boys. I thought that was pretty clever. The majority of those who wrote or called in said that girls are easier when they are younger and harder when they are older, and boys are easier when they are older and harder when they are younger.

Instead of giving you my opinion upfront, I thought I would first give you some insight into the personality of my two children.

MY DAUGHTER: At a very early age (very early) she demonstrated signs of independence. She did not like to cuddle. She did not like to be rocked. She had two dolls that she always slept with, Jammie Pie and Puff-a-Lump, better known as Puff and Jam. She had a sense of style all her own when it came to clothes, shoes, etc. She had blue eyes, curly blond hair and was adorable. She loved animals, especially dogs. She hated all things outdoorsy and especially bugs. She had the sweetest and most contagious laugh. She was well behaved and smart. She loved to be on the go. She would wake every single morning and get fully dressed even if she knew we were not going anywhere. Something she said once that we still say on occasion: I asked her one day on our way home from church what she had learned in her Sunday school class. She said she learned about Godum and Eda. (Adam and Eve.) Something she did once, that I hope to never forget: As I held her in my arms, she counted the buttons on my shirt. When she reached ten, I complemented her and told her how proud I was of her. She said, “Yea, I’m learning my buttons!” She was a very discontent little girl. We had all the talks, the ones where we tried to make her understand why she needed to be content, “The grass is not always greener on the other side; there will always be those with more and less than us”, but it followed her into her teen years as did her drive for independence. She was strikingly beautiful. People told me so all the time. Her lifestyle has now taken it’s toll on her appearance. She had one automobile accident. Her early teen years were troubled as I have blogged about previously. We managed to survive them and enjoyed about three years of closeness. My daughter grew up, and we were having a grown-up relationship. And then she turned nineteen, and she is where she is right now and I am here blogging about this torrential journey. She told me she hated me once or twice. I know she did not mean it. She grew up in a stable home, one where her dad and I took the responsibility of her physical, spiritual, and mental well-being seriously. She has an extremely likable personality and sense of humor.

MY SON: During infancy and for a long time afterward he was very, very dependent. He was a mama’s baby and HAD to be rocked to sleep. He was a beautiful little boy, and was the teacher’s pet in kindergarten. He stole her heart with his cherub-like face and sweet disposition. He had a security blanket. It was accidentally thrown away by the maid service while we were on vacation. I am sure it was because it looked like a an old worn out rag. It was time to wean him from it since he was five years old at the time, but when my mother learned of the incident, she went out and bought him another one. I will not tell you how long he slept with that one. Something that we will probably always remember him saying: I picked him up from school (he was in the first grade) and joked with him about having a girl friend. He denied my accusations. I asked him if he had ever been given a note from a girl, stating, “I love you, do you love me, circle yes or no”. He said, “Mama, there is not one kid in my class that knows how to spell the word circle.” Something he said that we still say on occasion: He called oatmeal “moatmoy” (pronounce moat like boat and moy like boy). He has always been content. He has had some unique interests: fencing and flying remote control helicopters. He takes after his dad, as far as being able to work with his hands. He can fix most anything. He also had one automobile accident. He currently attends a local junior college and lives at home. He has a part time job at an office supply store. He hardly ever leaves our house without telling me he loves me. In seven months, he will turn twenty. It seems that nineteen has been a turbulent year for both of my children. I always thought that by this time all the raging hormones would had settled down, but it has proven to be not such a great year for either of them. He has dealt with issues this past year that he has never had to deal with before, but I feel confident he will be able to work through them. He is a well-mannered and caring young man.

I know this blog entry is long. If you are still with me and have already guessed that my son was the easier of my two children to raise, then you are correct. This is the part where I feel like I should be laying on a couch. I doubt very seriously there is a single question you could ask me in regards to my parenting skills that I have not already asked myself over and over again.

1. Was I a good parent? Yes, I think so. My daughter has
assured me that I was.
2. Was I a perfect parent? No.
3. Was it my son’s personality that made him the easier of the
two to raise? Yes.
4. Did I love him more? No.
5. Could I have done a better job dealing with my daughter’s
discontentment and independence? Most definitely.
6. Do I have regrets? Yes.
7. Would I do some things differently if I could have another
chance? Most definitely.
8. Would it make a difference, as far as where my daughter is in
her life right now and with some of the decisions she has
made? I honestly do not know.
9. Would it change the way things are now if I knew the answer to
question number 8? No.
10.If I had everything in the world to do with where she is in her life right now, is it too late for her/ for us? Never.

My children are gifts from God. They were both fearfully and wonderfully made. I love them equally with all of my heart.

God, guide my daughter into truth. Make her alert to the lies of Satan and teach her how to resist him by faith. Give her the courage to be honest with herself and with You. Convict her of her sin and her need for You. Cause her to call out to You in her distress and confusion. Remove her heart of stone and replace it with a new, soft heart. Lead her to those who will point her to You. Cause her to be attracted to those who are attracted to You. Scatter like chaff in the wind those who continually try to bring her harm. Give her the courage to please You, and not others.

Produce in my son a humble spirit that is yielded to You. Teach him how to live in You, and show him that apart from You he can do nothing. Teach him to walk by faith. Help him to see beyond his circumstances and trust You with every part of his life. In this fast-paced world of instant gratification, place in him the perseverance he needs to succeed. Cause him to be still and wait patiently for You. Build a hedge around him to guard him physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Block his paths so that he cannot move towards activities and relationships that would harm him.