Saturday, April 10, 2010

HOMEWARD BOUND

For quite some time now, when I view my blog the word prodigal that I used in my profile to describe my daughter leaps off the page at me.  I almost feel guilty for using it.  Here are some synonyms I found  for this word: wasteful, squander, lavish (mainly referring to money).  I guess I need to remind myself as to why I used the word in the first place.  The parable of the prodigal son mentioned in the Bible, in Luke, describes a young man who in every way except the inheritance part resembles what her life has been like for the past couple of years.  He took something before it was time for him to have it.  So did she.  He left all the comforts of home. She did too.  He left behind those who loved him more than anybody in the world.  She did too.  His parents grieved.  So did hers.  His brother showed lack of compassion and understanding through immaturity.  As did hers. He found himself in a terrible situation not knowing what to do or how to get out of the mess he was in.   She is still there.  He experienced forgiveness and the unconditional love of a parent.  So has she.

I was thinking about how he must have felt as he walked home.  I don't know how long it took him, but he must have agonized all the way there.  He was regretful, embarrassed, full of shame and sorrow, unsure  of how his father would respond to his returning, not knowing what he would do next if he turned him away.  He must have been tired, dirty, smelly, hungry - just beaten down.  

But we all know what happened as he made those final steps home.  His father could not get to him fast enough.  He loved all over this dirty, smelly young man!  He threw a party to celebrate his arrival.
   
My daughter has not arrived on our doorstep yet.  She is still walking home.  I am still like the father of the prodigal son who watched and waited everyday for his son to return.  This mother is still watching and waiting for her daughter. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of her and then she disappears.

I feel certain that as soon as the prodigal son came to the realization that he had made a terrible mistake, he did not take off running home.  His heart and his mind changed first.  He knew what he needed to do, but the faith and courage to do it was probably not there at that exact moment.  Thankfully they came and he was able to react physically to what his heart and mind had already reacted to.
 
My daughter has not reacted physically.  I do not mean this in the sense that she will ever come back to an address.  But she needs to walk away from her circumstance.  Her heart and her mind have changed.  But she has not made the leap of faith.  She has not gotten the courage to leave.  She wants to.  And I believe she IS on her way home. I know she is.  The party decorations are up!



       

   

        

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